For Everything, There Is a Season

When I was in college, there was a boy who was my everything.

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Except, I was not his. And so while he was my first…well, everything…ultimately our relationship ended with a random – and abrupt – end of communication when he went off to law school.

Years later, he contacted me again – he was living in another state, married, with a child, and he started to get sort of flirtatious. “Um, hello….what’s going on here???” I’d ask…often via late-night IM…confused, and, quite honestly a little bit offended.

But there was a part of me. A part of me who was tempted – to let him get close and then be the one to reject him. Until I started to feel a little bit sorry for him.

We all have these ideals we think we crave — that great love, that great passion – and often, we eventually get what we think we want, and discover it wasn’t remotely what we were envisioning.

And so I find myself filled with empathy – for his wife, his child, and honestly, even for him – I found myself, and I’m so incredibly happy – how awful it must be for him, to have what he thinks he wanted, and realize how miserable and alone he really is?

Just a few days ago, he sent me a text message that his wife had found some of our old conversations, and he was going to have to distance himself. I waited for that familiar tug to come upon my heart…and it never came. I texted him back and wished him well – I was wearing my French Connection Dolly sandals, $37.50 at 6pm.com, and packing for a getaway to St. Lucia…what do I have to be sad about?

Handsome Devil: Morrissey & Stella McCartney design shoes

Furthering the argument that leather-free footwear can be fashion forward, two of the planets most stylish vegans are teaming up to produce an animal-free line of shoes.

Stella McCartney's Koiec flats for Adidas

The U.K.’s Spinner Music broke the news: “Morrissey is to design a range of leather-free shoes with designer Stella McCartney. The designer, the daughter of Sir Paul, said the designs are in the early stages but she hoped they would be in stores next year, the Daily Mail reported. ‘I’m working with Morrissey on a line of leather-free shoes which I’m really excited about,’ Stella McCartney was quoted by the paper.’We are still in the early stages, but the shoes could be launched next year.’” (Also on the horizon: “McCartney is also reportedly set to work with fellow vegetarian Leona Lewis on a new clothing range.”)

New York Magazine’s The Cut blog had this to say: “Finally, the void left by Natalie Portman shall be filled!”

Stella McCartney vegan sneakers for Adidas

Joke all you like; McCartney can deliver. Back in 2004 Discovery Company Treehugger wrote, “High fashion isn’t usually associated with sustainability–at best it does a little greenwashing here and there. But in the case of Stella McCartney, high fashion makes an exception. Miss thing inherited more than just rock royalty genes from Daddy, she inherited Mom’s good-hearted love for animals. All of her clothes are animal-free, including the shoes, which, amazingly, even forego PVC-based plastics in favor of materials derived from plants.”

McCartney’s current footwear lines include an Adidas laceup with a textile upper and synthetic outsole, and a faux-suede perforated bootie to which blogger The Shoe Goddess gave serious props. “While I may think that everyone needs a pair of suede booties for their wardrobe, Stella McCartney has given a beautiful alternative with her faux-suede gray perforated booties,” she writes. “These booties are of course even more interesting and unique because they have the perforations throughout the shoes. The holes are absolutely stunning and turn the shoe into a canvas and creating a piece of artwork on the shoe itself.”

Stella McCartney perforated bootie

So what will Morrissey bring to the project? The former Smiths singer manages to keep his own shoes out of his publicity shots for the most part, but his immaculately tailored suits are epic.

Can you spot Morrissey's footwear?

Racked.com muses, “While the collection is probably going to be more fun that Natalie Portman’s, it has posed a major dilemma for us. What’s the best Smiths reference to make in this situation? Grazia went with ‘Shoplifters of the world uniting…’ Fashionista wrote, ‘We guess all those pleases paid off and he’ll be getting what he wants this time.’”

Never a Dull Moment in Edwardian-Style Zanotti Heels

Designed for the hopeless romantic, these Giuseppe Zanotti booties are the perfect addition to the vintage-lovin’ gal’s wardrobe.

What’s interesting about these boots is that they have an open-toe design and are a classic Edwardian-style lace-up shoe all in one. A classic, traditional style complete with a regal floral pattern embossed throughout, these no-nonsense shoes offer plenty of vintage appeal with a chic and sophisticated design.

The 3 ¾” heel is just high enough to  flatter your figure in a simple black dress or dress pants this season, and the glossy finish is sure to attract mucho attention. Parties, soirees, or any time you want to play dress up, these are a great pick for any vintage fashion enthusiast looking for a new look for the season.

Tess Tuesday: Shanti Shanti Shoes

Yoga Class is a funny place to travel. You’re in athletic-wear, but you don’t need sneakers and it’s not really the same kind of athletic-wear that you would sport, say on your way to spinning. And since the sneakers aren’t mandatory, you’re really blessed with endless possibilities in the shoe department.

Now listen, I’m not saying you shouldn’t wear athletic sneakers to Yoga class. Maybe you want to run there (I’m too lazy for that, but good for you). And they’ll look perfectly appropriate, as you’re wearing matching clothes after all. But yoga has its own style. You’re not wearing shorts and a t-shirt. You’re wearing sleek leggings or flowing fold-over pants, or tiny shorts if you can pull them off. I cannot.

Yoga is supposed to relax you, and so looking cute to and fro should not stress you out. It’s just that sometimes the instructor is really hot and you want to impress him, sometimes the other girls in class are really annoying and you want to show them up, and sometimes you just want to look nice because when you look better you feel better. And isn’t that what yoga is all about, doing something for yourself? Yes, it is. So here are some suggestions on how to incorporate cute footwear into your practice.’

With leggings (cropped or full-length): A ballet flat always looks delicate and feminine. Hence, the All Black Woodstock flat.

With a wide-leg yoga pant (full-length): A moccasin is in keeping with the peaceful tone of your practice. They’re of the earth. You could be taking a vinyasa on a riverbank. Try the Manitobah Trapper Moc.

With wide leg yoga pant (cropped): These are the most athletic-looking pant in the yoga-wear family. A stylish sneaker like the Ed Hardy Low Rise Dubai completes the look.

With tiny yoga shorts (short): A big boot is an adorable contrast and warm feet will enable you to walk around with bare legs even when it’s not warm out. Additionally, wearing bulky boots is always a great way to make your legs look tinier, not that you need to! Pull on the Australia Love Short Nomad.

Namaste.

P.S. Barefoot Tess is offering 25% off for the rest of the day (a few exclusions apply). So you can get your cute yoga footwear on sale! Use code ‘CYBER’ at checkout!

The Gift of Comfort

My mommy’s birthday is in a couple of weeks. She’s not an easy woman to shop for, so when this time of year comes around, I can’t help but struggle. She’s a woman of fabulous taste–a total fashionista, which is where I probably get it from–but she hates uncomfortable shoes. So okay: no heels or super-pointy shoes for mom… But something just as fabulous? Enter, UGGs. I know, I know–everyone’s got a pair, but my mother doesn’t! In fact, there are lots of non-converts out there. Many say these boots are “fuggs,” but I disagree. You just have to know how to wear ‘em. Here’s how:

1. Only rock ‘em with skinny jeans. Don’t do the sweatpants and flare-leg jeans thing. It makes it look cheap. 
2. Showcase the boots. Not sure if you can show off black or brown ones? Go with metallic! Yes, they have metallic UGGs.
3. Be confident no matter what. Don’t walk in UGGs as if you’re trying to hide ‘em. Just flaunt ‘em.

Hopefully, those tips will convert some of you. Check out the fabulous UGGs at WhatSheBuys.com, for starters. If not, oh well. Good luck in those uncomfortable, pointy things.

GoodShop & Give Back on Black Friday & Beyond

How would you like to pump up your Black Friday buying power and give back to nonprofits in need at no extra cost to you? Well, if you do click over to GoodShop before you hit over 900 online stores, you can take advantage of stash of coupons. It only takes a few extra seconds and up to 30% of your purchases will be donated to the nonprofit of your choice. (There are over 85,000 charitable organizations registered with the site.)

Trust me, I realize that this sounds suspiciously like a scam but my dance organization, Monkeyhouse,  has worked with this site for three years. Checks really do arrive each fall and somehow they are always slightly larger than we were expecting.  In fact, Monkeyhouse just received another Goodshop donation on Monday.  I am so encouraged by this passive revenue stream that I have personally offered to match all the money that Monkeyhouse earns through GoodShop in November and December.

GoodShop has teamed up with over 180 participating shoe stores, and they have got deals for you whether you are into stilettos, sneakers, or retro roller skates. For instance, if  you got inspired by Shoetube’s recent Tess Tuesday post,

you could cut $10 off a $100 purchase and send 6.5 – 8% to your favorite school, charity, or religious organization with GoodShop.

Or, if Wendy’s romp through nostalgia reminded you to revamp your running shoes, you could save 20% if you rush to GoodShop by 11/29/09. But don’t worry if you miss out on that deal’s deadline, there are several other coupons and they will always kick back 4-8.5%  of your total to a worthy nonprofit.

Even if you have got to get golf shoes after this week’s Quick Fix, you can support your favorite cause by swinging by GoodShop beforehand.

So hop on over to GoodShop and discover how easy it is to give this holiday season.

DIY: Design It Yourself

Here’s a little something for all the Do It Yourselfers out there: Design Your Own Shoes sites. Thanks to About.com blogger Desiree Stimpert, we’ve all been introduced to Shoes of Prey, an online shops that boasts it “creates beautiful bespoke women’s shoes, designed by you.”

My first design attempt at Shoes Of Prey

Here’s how it works, according to the company: “You choose the heel, toe, fabric, color and embellishments. Our expert craftsmen then make your shoes to measure, swaddle them in a soft dust bag and crisp new box, and ship them straight to your waiting feet.”

Reports Stimpert, “I had a lot of fun playing with the design tool, and was surprised at how many combinations were possible. But the biggest — and most pleasant — surprise is the price: most shoes cost about …$215 U.S. dollars, which is an incredible bargain for bespoke shoes.”

While Keds and Converse have been allowing shoppers to customize their kicks with color, print and style choices, self-directed dress shoes and heels have been the sole property of footwear designers. That’s changing.

One style possibility at Dream Heels

According to Luxist, Canadian company Dream Heels is offering novice designers/shoe lovers a chance to custom-create styles. “The designs are shown on the Dream Heels Web site and can be voted on. Each month a winning design is chosen. The creator receives $250 and a $250 Dream Heels gift certificate,” explains Luxist.

So far, all of the Dream Heels styles are the same — a pump — but the designs vary wildly from a rainbow stripe to a peacock print. Currently, 25 designs are in contention.

Finally, Glamour Magazine’s Slave to Fashion blog recently posted that “Online shoe retailer Zappos.com has teamed up with Steve Madden for Sole Search, a design competition that gives aspiring Louboutins a chance to share their towering vision with the world.” Aspiring designers can create a design from scratch or by using a downloadable Steve Madden template.

The Lauper, a popular design in Steve Madden's Sole Search competition

So far over 1800 entries have been submitted and there’s still another month of the competition. Check out the competition, review designs (the Lauper got raves like “These boots r amazing & so cool. I love them! I would love to have a pair!” — in fact, most reviews seem to be supportive) and submit your own ideas.

The grand prize: Steve Madden himself will select one of the three first prize winners’ designs (determined by votes on the Zappos site) to be produced and sold online at Zappos.com/Steve-Madden. There’s also a $500 Zappos.com gift card and a $500 Steve Madden gift card. Nice.

Moving About in Macau

Just hours ago, I returned from a whirlwind week in Macau, China.

Every so often we have an experience that we unequivocally know will change us — make us somehow different, maybe even a little better. This often occurs when we remove ourselves from our comfort zone and do something that may feel a little scary for us, but ultimately, makes us feel stronger and more confident.

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I think part of what draws me to web-writing is an inherent shyness -it’s easy to be outgoing and confident when you are alone in a room, staring at a screen – but out and about, I’m different. More hesitant, less sure of myself.

So, when I was invited on a press visit to the other side of the world, a location where I knew no one, had never been, and did not speak the language, I was a little nervous. Granted, I go on press visits all the time – but to Asia? Wow. That would be a biggie.

The day I was packing to leave, I got notification that a cold front was to pass through China, and I should pack accordingly. I took the info I had at hand: A great deal of walking, a chic but cozy city and my need for versatile footwear that would work in various settings — it’s the key to avoiding overpacking – and I knew my choice was clear. On my feet during those long walks would be the comfortably cosmopolitan Michael by Michael Kors Derby Boots with shearling trim.

And so, wearing my fabulous boots, I walked the historic sites of Macau: Saw the mystically beautiful Senado Square, with its historic churches, ruins, and well, Starbucks. Visited St. Paul’s ruins. Ate the locally-famous delicious egg tart…a lot. Rode the ferry. Discovered the beauty that is Portuguese-Chinese fusion. And learned Macau is much more than a town of casinos and piers, as nay-sayers will tell you. It’s a beautiful place to visit, with a stunning history needing to be heard.

But most importantly, I learned I could walk through the streets of a city 8,000 miles away – where I didn’t know the language – and not only be okay, but feel amazing. And that, more so than the mysterious black chickens or 1,000-year-old eggs I discovered, will change me forever.

eBay Quick Fix: Classic Golf Shoes

Whenever I’m packing to visit old friends and family, like I am right now, I start channeling Katharine Hepburn as Pat in 1952’s Pat and Mike (he’s Spencer Tracy).

I’m pulling out all my nipped-in pants, blousey tops and and casual cardis. No matter what situation Pat gets into, including playing multiple pro sports, she looks pulled together. Her style is just the way my instincts wander when the potential chaos of a large family gathering is on the horizon.

The perfect shoes to walk me through all this can only be sleek, sturdy vintage golf shoes–possibly featuring a jaunty little kiiltie. No need to get too serious. It’s a celebration after all. Here are the top golfers on eBay.

Preppy brown and white size 6 1/2s from eBay store Sporting Goods USA:

Black and white saddle shoes (size 9 1/2) from eBay boutique fancywhat for $18:

Lady Fairway classic buckle shoes (size 8, $13) from eBay store Recycle, Reuse, Reduce:

And structured, vinatge Kenneth Cole NY golf shoes (size 7, $40) from Philly’s Finest Vinatge:

Sure these are a bit different. But they are also adorable and dignified. And for me fashion, like golf, is a game I take part in just to please myself.

Tess Tuesday: I Know What I Want to Wear

It happens over brunch on Sunday morning, in the locker room after yoga, by drunk-dial at 3am, and via text, causing me to ignore the red hand and walk blindly into traffic: I find out about an upcoming event. It could be a house party, or a dinner party, or a fondue night, or some fabulous gala that requires a gown. Whatever it is, once I get word of it, my mind jumps immediately to what I’m going to wear. Of course, there are endless contributing factors to consider. The most basic are the occasion, its venue and of course, the season. Some of the more minute considerations however, include, who else will attend, if there will be dancing, and whether or not I’ll be drinking red wine. (Its stains have notoriously ruined dresses forever.)

Occasionally, I hear of the event and an outfit that I own and have been meaning to wear pops into my head straightaway. It’s perfect and I’m golden, despite the fact that I’ve almost been hit by a taxi.  More often though, I have to spend a good half hour-who am I kidding? An hour and a half-trying on clothes and shoes and scarves and bracelets to construct the perfect look for the party. Once in a great while, I hear of the event and the perfect outfit simply appears. I know what it looks like and how to accessorize. It will be flattering and flawless. The only problem is that I’ve invented this outfit-it’s merely a product of my imagination. I might own a few pieces of the look, but I certainly don’t own the majority of it.

At this point I should say, “Well, that would be nice.  Too bad it doesn’t exist.” Instead, I start taking a mental inventory of all the stores in the area, who carries and what, and hours of operation. The quest begins: building the nonexistent look. If it’s made of separates, the task is easier, but the journey is long. If I’ve designed a dress in my head, the mission is in serious risk of ending in failure, through no fault of my own. I’ll take a second to brag here.  If it exists, I will find it. E-mail me!

I find that when I’m going crazy to build a look, the thing I am most thankful for is my shoe wardrobe. A shoe wardrobe full of staples will never let you down. Here are some I think every girl should own so when she’s built the perfect outfit, she can rush home from the stores, just in time to get ready in a hurry, and the shoes will be waiting in her closet to complete the ensemble.

The Black Patent Flat (All Black for Barefoot Tess Banded Flat)

The Corso Como Rachel II

The Accent Flat (Barefoot Tess Edie)

The Metallic Party Shoe (Gwyneth Princess Heel)

Speak up! What are your favorite staples?

And speaking of dreaming up styles, are there any that you’d like BFT to carry? Tell me what’s missing!