There’s no better city  for boots than San Francisco and it so happens shopping for the perfect pair is a lot like searching for the elusive Mr. Right  (wouldn’t life be a lot easier if men were lined up on a sale rack for heel-to-heel comparison?).

Too short. Too loud. Too off-color. Too difficult to care for. Too cheap. Too clingy in all the wrong places. Better suited for your best friend. Oh, and your mom hates the way they slouch and thinks you can do better.

And then, just when you’re feeling like you’re about to give up (though you never really give up, you just say you will), into your life walks the pair that makes you glad that you held out this long and proves that, no, you’re not too picky you just have excellent taste and know what you want, thank you very much.

You know it when you find it because they’re unusually comfortable and when the salesgirl tells you they’re designed to stay with you for a lifetime, your commitment issues don’t surface.

For me that warm feeling comes from Michael Kors’ Kincade boots in  buttery-soft suede.  Michael Kors boutiques are popping up all over the Bay Area and I’ve quickly fallen in love with all the pieces they carry. I scored these in an of-the-moment—but still classic—shade of grey that compliments any wardrobe, whether it’s boho or rock and roll. The design allows you to push them down for more of ankle bootie feel or yank them upward toward the knee. Rock them with skinny jeans in faded charcoal or with a short dress in a curve-hugging material to get noticed.

I heart Halloween. Seriously, it’s not every night you get to dress up like a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader without eliciting haughty stares in San Francisco.

This year one of the only parties worth the hype was Vintage 415’s sold-out Stay Puft soiree at Yoshi’s, benefiting the CPMC SimSurg Education Center. Good music. Good crowd. Good costumes. Both floors were swarming with glitzy show girls, temptresses from the Garden of Eden, military men, and (my favorite) one very clever Alan and scene-stealing baby Carlos from the movie The Hangover.

Getting to Yoshi’s and back again in one collective group was half the adventure (it always is). Naturally, we learned plenty of lessons along the way. If you’ll be rocking cheerleader costumes next Halloween, savor these nuggets of wisdom:

1. Do the math before deciding how high your heels should be: 6 hours x 4 girls x 10 toes each adds up to some serious whimpering at the end of the night. Don’t spend much money on snow white boots—especially since they’ll be stained with other people’s drinks by midnight. Make like a genius (me) and slip a pair of white tube socks over your boots and poke the heel out with scissors.

2. For dinner, head to Mamacita to stuff your tiny white shorts with chips and guac and whatever those delicious pink shots were, and remember that Brazen Head serves desert until 2 pm. Something in that carrot cake and fallen angel cake relieves sore little piggies from a night of abuse.

3. Appoint a squad leader to “do the honors” when you’re approached by unsavory suitors dressed like creepy characters from A Clockwork Orange. One cheer that comes to mind: “U-G-L-Y you ain’t got no al-i-bi.” Or bust out with your own rendition of “I Kissed A Ghoul And I Liked It.”

4. Plan to take a cab everywhere, preferably with a male escort dressed as a very convincing police officer. Light-reflecting pom-poms make it exponentially easier to hail a cab out from under the noses of wealthy old socialites, which come first in this city every other night of the year.

5. If you desire to be seen before the promoted parties kick off, skip the house parties to “strut the nut” (Chestnut, that is). Busting a spontaneous move from outside the window at the Mac store can provide endless entertainment. Good luck getting the very serious, non-costumed computer shoppers to look up from the display merchandise.

6. Think before dancing with a man dressed like an injured superhero. Neck and knee braces mean Velcro, which equate to shredded nylon stockings. This goes without saying: always carry a back-up pair in your bra. The fact that I also managed to fit my trusty notepad and pen, blackberry, lipstick, gloss, cash and driver’s license is worthy of its own blog, no?

7. Don’t be fooled: You can’t be completely convinced you did Halloween “right” until the following morning at The Grove when you hear the tales from the parties you never made it to, or run into friends who slept in their makeup and are still going strong, striaght out of Night Of The Living Dead.

I’m all about buying footwear with enduring value and comfort—you know, rather than indulging in fleeting trends that collect dust in the back of the closet. This is precisely is why Halloween always stirs up some commitment issues. Last year’s challenge was to find white, high heeled boots that would complete my Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader costume. Quel nightmare.

Being a glutton for punishment (in the form of driving to every costume and consignment store within a 50 mile radius), I’m considering going as Dorothy in The Wizard Of Oz this year. The search for shoes will be no easy task, especially since I’m looking to buy a pair of ruby red dazzlers I can wear again and again after dark, any time of year.

Enter Christian Louboutin’s glittered pump platform. The veritable wizard of ooohs and aaahs has turned out an aggressively sexy ruby slipper (with signature red sole) that’s built for more than a one night stand. At $775,  it better be. Available at NeimanMarcus.com

My approach to fashion has always been fairly simple: Feet first. In other words, I’ve been known to buy a brand new outfit with no other purpose than to match my favorite pair of shoes. It’s a nasty little habit that’s depleted my bank account—and converted me into a sneaker junkie in recent months.

Why sneakers?

In a nutshell, San Francisco is an athletic city…a walking city…a running city if you frequent the Marina Green…and that’s precisely why I love it.

My love affair with athletic kicks began in pre-school, mostly because I was the only one in class who could tie them without assistance. Precocious and then some (save for my phobia of falling into the big-person toilet), I was intrigued by any pair of shoes so startlingly white that it would take me six months of rigorous playground use to wear them in just right. Plus, I secretly found delight in the fact that other children were forced to wear Velcro, the adolescent equivalent of Tevas and socks.

Sneakers make me feel able-bodied, just like I’m back in the sandbox, fending for myself when I come undone. And they make walking lunges more bearable and are therefore responsible for firming my derriere. That alone is enough to justify a new pair every two months, although my mother has been known to call this behavior frivolous.

If the sneaker fits….

Despite the fact that I spend most of my time in San Francisco, I’m still a mud-slingin’, dust-kickin’ kinda country girl at heart (definitely more rodeo than Rodeo Drive). How do you incorporate the “yee-haw” spirit into a modern metropolitan lifestyle where Juicy Couture totes and Tory Burch tunics are the order of the day?

Distressed cowboy boots are the perfect way to bring any outfit down to earth, shake up a blue jeans coma and separate yourself from mass assimilation. The trick to wearing them is trying hard not to look FOTT (fresh off the tractor). A few tips for wearing the Chocolate Brush Off Boot pictured here and available at JustinBoots.com:

Around Town. Tuck premium skinny jeans inside these cowboy boots and pair with a crisp white tank top, a few long-strand necklaces, a cuff or a chunky turquoise cocktail ring (refrain from wearing all three at once). Where hair is concerned, opt for beachy, surfer girl-inspired waves to keep the look fresh and oh-so California girl (no offense Texas).

At A Backyard BBQ. Forgo the Daisy Duke-inspired shorts for a frayed denim mini with deconstructed finish. Make sure your top isn’t too revealing (try a tee with a ¾ length sleeve) as this look already has enough skin going on. Another option? Try a strappy summer sun dress with a pretty feminine print. The toughness of the cowboy boots will break up the look without being as extreme as the Doc Martens you wore with your sun dresses circa 1992.

At Your BFF’s Next Dinner Party. Clingy cottons can be dressed up or down in a pinch. Instead of flip-flops or sandals, try a short sleeve day dress in a soft-as-butter jersey fabric. You’ll be the hit of the casual cocktail hour.

Posted in Shoes by City Tagged: cowboy boots ]]> http://shoetube.wordpress.com/2009/06/26/how-to-wear-cowboy-boots-in-the-city/feed/ 0 stephaniesimons choco http://shoetube.wordpress.com/2009/06/25/vending-machines-putan-end-to-stiletto-anguish/ http://shoetube.wordpress.com/2009/06/25/vending-machines-putan-end-to-stiletto-anguish/#comments Thu, 25 Jun 2009 21:13:04 +0000 stephaniesimons http://shoetube.wordpress.com/?p=3369 ]]>

You know that whiny, cranky mood you fall into after a long night spent teetering in stilettos? The one that makes you want to go home, stat, and whimper “My feeeet hurt” to anyone who’ll listen? In London they have a solution for this: Rollashoes. They’re distributed via vending machine at the most genius of locations: dance clubs. This brilliant invention (which has inspired many why-didn’t-I-think of that? moments in the past few weeks) was masterminded by a man name Matt Horan (he who grew tired of listening to his girlfriend complain about her achy feet). You pay $8 for a pair of Rollashoes, which look like ballet flats, and you also get a bag for stashing your killer high heels. The shoes come in four wear-with-all colors: Hi Ho Silver, Gold Digger, Pink and Black and they are headed to the Los Angeles and New York this fall. I’m bummed that San Francisco is left out in the cold when it comes to something so VERY cool. We may not have bragging rights to the best nightlife in the country, but we are the walking city, which means there’s a need for one shoe vending machine on all the high-traffic streets (think Market, Union, Chestnut and Columbus). Matt Horan, can you hear me?

After a season of adoring unabashed color, smart women everywhere are bucking brightly hued summer shoes in favor of wear-with-all color. I’m not talking about the obvious noir, white or brown. It’s time to enter neutral territory and rock solid nude, also affectionately known as tan, champagne, camel or khaki (depending upon your skin tone). Nude is the only color that transitions from winter to spring, summer to fall and back again, and effortlessly pairs with all of those unusual colors in your hot weather wardrobe (think lime, watermelon red, tangerine or any other shade that inevitably begs the question “What in Manolo’s name do I wear with this?”).

If wildly colored shoes are said to be a distraction from bad hair days, nude shoes are the best option for calling attention north of your neck (hey, good hair days happen). Before the days of clear stripper-inspired heels and Donald Trump, beauty pageant contestants wore tan toned pumps during the swimsuit competition to elongate their legs (making them look both longer and thinner) and make the shoe fade into the background on stage.

FYI: A nude pump is a far better alternative than a black one when it comes to complementing a tomato red suit or even a navy blue one, making it the ultimate Power Pump. But you’ve got to think like Angelina Jolie and make sure that the heel is tall and slender for a modern effect (a squat heel can look too mature on a young woman). To this day, Stuart Weitzman is the only designer that consistently puts out relatively affordable, super sexy pumps in gorgeous nude tones.

Posted in Shoes by City, Trendspotter Tagged: Angelina Jolie, nude shoes, Stuart Weitzman ]]> http://shoetube.wordpress.com/2009/06/20/go-nude-for-summer/feed/ 0 stephaniesimons nude http://shoetube.wordpress.com/2009/04/23/standard-application-to-date-a-shoe-lover/ http://shoetube.wordpress.com/2009/04/23/standard-application-to-date-a-shoe-lover/#comments Thu, 23 Apr 2009 07:41:15 +0000 stephaniesimons http://shoetube.wordpress.com/?p=2510 ]]>

The standard dating application shoe lovers should distribute before the all-important first date (i.e. how to tell if he’s worth dating in 9 questions or less).

Applicant’s Full Name

Applicant’s Nickname

Age

Height

Weight

Shoe Size  (US)

1.    Please state the reason(s) for your last breakup.

2.    If you were a women’s shoe, what kind would you be?

a)   A flat (go anywhere, no-frills)
b)   A strappy stiletto (attention-seeking)
c)    A tennis shoe (athletic)
d)    An old boot (sturdy and reliable)
e)    A Birkenstock (comfortable and completely unconcerned with fashion)

3.    Have any of your former girlfriends or their mothers ever referred to you as a “heel”?

4.    How many credit cards do you have in your name?

5.    Are you willing to carry me if my stilettos prove too painful to manage a wobble?

6.    Can you endure shopping trips for prolonged periods of time?

7.    Which side of the closet do you prefer?

8.    Does it take you longer than 15 minutes to get dressed and, if so, does your place have more than one full-length mirror?

9. Which SATC character would you get along with best?: (a) Carrie, (b) Samantha, (c) Charlotte, (d) Miranda

Please attach three references, a credit report and a copy of your current immunization records.
I ATTEST THAT THESE ANSWERS ARE TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF PERJURY.
X _______________________________________

Come spring, a young (and happily single) San Francisco woman’s fancy turns to thoughts of cute boys and the shoes with which to snag them. These are my choice for a very festive GNO (girls’ night out) in the big city: Nanette Lepore’s tumbled metallic leather Savage Lover stilettos, $375, with a ruffle front and stacked 4” inch heel. I spotted them on display at Bloomies. Um, hello savage lover.

Do men really like ruffles? Who knows. Who cares. If you’re headed to the hot spots, think Zare at Fly Trap or Gitane, you must prepare to stand for long periods of time at the bar. Men who give up a seat are few and far between near the Golden Gate, so if you’re prone to all the blood rushing to your feet (translation: bulging veins), these are a savvy choice since the strategically placed ruffle camouflages whatever funk (vericose veins, self-tanner streaks?) you’ve got going on. And you should see the sweet little swing they put in your hips.

News flash! Walnut Creek’s Deliciouz has moved to a new location: the space formerly belonging to Hush clothing boutique at 1353 North Main Street. Although this deliciously chic shoe destination is awash in mood-lifting color, the selection is heavy on neutrals: think chocolate, caramel and sweet plum-colored sandals (gold grommets and eye-catching cutouts are the proverbial icing on these treats), licorice-hued boots and sturdy, chunky heels (not a single stiletto exists at this shop). As you may have guessed by the darling name, owner Tamara Vladic curates confections that have the same effect on your brain as tiramisu or a fresh-baked chocolate éclair. European designers are the draw: Think meticulously crafted treats by Chi Mihara, Colleen Cordero, Cynthia Vincent and Sigerson Morrison.