When I walked into Home Depot with a single Gucci stiletto in my handbag, I knew I was going to get some odd looks at the paint counter. What I didn’t anticipate, was causing a total scene involving gates, a Hazmat crew, and some rather angry checkout ladies.

As discussed in Part 1 of my DIY series, I decided to paint my front door the same color as one of my fave pairs of stilettos. Granted, it has taken me awhile to get around to actually starting le project, but it’s not like my front door is going anywhere, right? So last Saturday I decided to finally bite the bullet and get to work.

Walking into Home Depot, I figured that surely people have asked the paint guys to match paint colors to much odder objects than a shoe, right? Wrong. The guy at the paint counter looked at me like I was crazy when I nonchalantly sat my stiletto on the counter and asked him to do the “paint match thingy” and give me a gallon of semi-gloss that matched my Gucci. He looked at the shoe, looked at me, and then had the nerve to tell me he didn’t want to touch it! It’s not like I was asking him to handle smelly gym shoes: this was a pristine patent leather Gucci that spenda most of its time being toted between points A and B in a dust bag. I finally talked him into putting it in the “paint match thingy” only to have the machine produce an ugly shade of red. So my new buddy, the paint dude, and I went to plan B: perusing existing paint palettes. I actually managed to find a pretty close match with Jasmine’s Gems from Behr’s Disney collection.

All awkward business finished, I figured I would just do self-checkout and head on my merry way. I scanned my painting accessories and then went to scan the can of paint, only to have “Jasmine’s Gems” gush all over the self-checkout machine and pretty much everything else in sight. Apparently dear, sweet paint dude had not properly fastened the lid on the can of paint. Obviously this

The "Secured Area"

disaster was not my fault (for once), but the clean-up crew sure acted like it was! As if it’s not embarrassing enough to spill paint everywhere, the little old lady on self-checkout patrol got on her walkie-talkie and paged someone to “secure the area” and that they had “a potentially hazardous situation.” At this point, I wanted nothing more than to silently sneak out of the store, but I still needed to get more paint! I went back over to paint dude, who watched the whole scene go down, and had to ask for a new gallon because somehow my lid was not secure and it spilled EVERYWHERE. I swear he smirked as he handed me my new can of paint. All I have to say is he had just better be glad that none of the paint got on the infamous Gucci’s, because my wrath would have been far worse than those checkout ladies.

Needless to say, I’m not going back to that Home Depot for a while…

How would you like to pump up your Black Friday buying power and give back to nonprofits in need at no extra cost to you? Well, if you do click over to GoodShop before you hit over 900 online stores, you can take advantage of stash of coupons. It only takes a few extra seconds and up to 30% of your purchases will be donated to the nonprofit of your choice. (There are over 85,000 charitable organizations registered with the site.)

Trust me, I realize that this sounds suspiciously like a scam but my dance organization, Monkeyhouse,  has worked with this site for three years. Checks really do arrive each fall and somehow they are always slightly larger than we were expecting.  In fact, Monkeyhouse just received another Goodshop donation on Monday.  I am so encouraged by this passive revenue stream that I have personally offered to match all the money that Monkeyhouse earns through GoodShop in November and December.

GoodShop has teamed up with over 180 participating shoe stores, and they have got deals for you whether you are into stilettos, sneakers, or retro roller skates. For instance, if  you got inspired by Shoetube’s recent Tess Tuesday post,

you could cut $10 off a $100 purchase and send 6.5 – 8% to your favorite school, charity, or religious organization with GoodShop.

Or, if Wendy’s romp through nostalgia reminded you to revamp your running shoes, you could save 20% if you rush to GoodShop by 11/29/09. But don’t worry if you miss out on that deal’s deadline, there are several other coupons and they will always kick back 4-8.5%  of your total to a worthy nonprofit.

Even if you have got to get golf shoes after this week’s Quick Fix, you can support your favorite cause by swinging by GoodShop beforehand.

So hop on over to GoodShop and discover how easy it is to give this holiday season.

I like boots.  This should come as no surprise given the outrage I felt last week when my cat sprayed five pairs last week, effectively destroying them.

Still, I have always been a pretty conservative boot buyer.  Even though I had a variety of styles, they were all either a shade of brown or good old black.  Because they are usually an expensive wardrobe addition, I always thought this just made good sense.

Last week, my husband approved a little boot mini-spree for me given the tragic state of the boots Melvin (the fat cat) ruined.  I headed to Nordstrom where I found a pair of Via Spiga, six-inch spiked heel black boots and a more practical wedge from Steven by Steven Madden

At first I tried both boots in black, as is my custom and while the Via Spiga ones were hot, hot, hot (and totally impractical for a mom who never gets out), the Steven ones were very cute, comfortable and perfect for both park and playdate.

I hemmed and hawed for about 20 minutes, debating the merits of spending $400, but since both boots were on sale and it would have been $600 normally, I decided to seize the day.  Boots be mine!

At checkout I made an even crazier decision.  I have a casual pair of black boots.  Why not try the grey?  I know I missed the boat on the super trend (that was last fall), but I do not have a pair of grey boots.  And neither did Nordstrom.  They special ordered them for me and yesterday, these arrived:

To say I love them would be an understatement.  They are just to the knees, a little slouchy, super comfortable and also kind of hot.  In short, they are perfect.

Last season or not, I am rocking the grey boots and feeling pretty good about it, to boot.  Thanks Melvin.  Your inability to control pee has blessed me in the strangest way.

For most parents of very young children, there are few personal pleasures.  Our lives are consumed with diapers, feedings, midnight wakings and the needs of these mighty demanding munchkins.

I took my pleasure in shoes.  In boots, to be exact.  Suede ones and leather ones, tall ones and flat ones, wedges and heels.  After a long day, a simple glance at my boots could make all the work worth it.

Until last week.  That is when my cat (pictured here as the obese urinating machine he is) decided to pop a squat and spray five of my boots, all from different pairs, including my brand new fringe Minnetonka, suedes and another suede pair I just bought and am too sad to reveal.

My corpulent, evil shoe ruiner:

The fact is, cat pee is notoriously hard to remove and even though all my shoes spent the evening soaking in our second bathtub in a mixture of vingegar, baking soda and “nature’s miracle,” I am not holding out hope that any of these shoes are salvageable.

To say I am devastated would be an understatement.  How does one recover when they lose $2,000 worth of shoes to their 10-year-old cat?  They say the first step of grief is denial and I am there, scrubbing and washing and hoping that I can once again wear any of these boots without attracting a small gaggle of female cats hoping to become impregnated.

Until then, my spraying fattie sleeps outside.

I have sinned.  It has been exactly 32 years since my last confession, but I will give it a try here and now and see if getting it off my chest helps. So, here it is:

I have abandoned my shoes.

Not only are my feet slightly bigger (gulp) thanks to a combination of marathon training (and marathon running) and back-to-back pregnancies, but I am also injured.  This has left me in a shoe rut so deep, I fear I will never see the sun.  I can’t wear full flats because I need arch support and I can’t wear heels because I need to heal my feet not make them worse.

What’s a shoe lover to do?

My doctor has recently suggested orthopedic shoes and sent a website for my perusal.  As I browsed, I cried.  Has it really come to this?  Has motherhood and running taken me from knee-high platform boots to this:

There has got to be another way.  Why have orthopedic shoes not progressed past granny-chic?

I will not buy these shoes.  So maybe I will not be wearing spiky heels any time soon, but I am not ready to throw in the proverbial fashion towel just yet.  There is a pair of shoes out there for me somewhere.  They have a nice heel, plenty of arch support and look good with my skinny, ripped jeans.

And when I find you, I will buy you in 15 colors.

I was late to Sunday brunch, and it was completely as a result of my not having the sole super power I’d really love to possess: the ability to know where my lost things have gone.  Sure, I’d like to be invisible, or fly, or time travel, or fly invisibly while I time travel, but none of those super powers would help me find the mate to my Paul Mayer ‘Bingo’ Flat. To be fair, every complete shoe wardrobe needs a lot of things, but the thing it needs most is a black patent ballet flat. They work with dressy and casual. They match everything.  They’re elegant, feminine, and comfortable. They’re essential.

But now I’ve found myself in a jam, because what do you do when you’ve lost the mate to your most versatile shoe? Cry, throw a bunch of your clothes on the floor, and arrive late to brunch in an outfit you only sort of like and a foul mood, forcing your friends to order you a Bloody Mary with desperate urgency? Yes. But then what? Girls, the only thing I can think to do is buy another pair. And now you see why I really do NEED that super power.

I know I’m not the only one: Which super power can you not live without and why?  Remember comment of the week wins $50 (comment here).

And here are some patent ballet flats in case you too have lost the mate to your most cherished pair. If you have, I would now like to take to time to extend my deepest condolences. This too shall pass—when you buy a new pair, like these:

The Paul Mayer Bingo flat.

The Delman Mona.

The Dolce Vita Flora.And now, I ask that you partake in a collective moment of silence for all of the lost shoes we’ve ever mourned.

Ugg, sorry for the delay. Finally, here is the Full Throttle Walk and Roll Report on Burju’s 2 Way with a 3 inch heel that I promised you last Friday.

Favorite things about them: 1. Mmmm…thank you Burju for designing a dance shoe with cushioning for the metatarsals. 2. Salsa is chock full of spins and these suede soles let me twirl effortlessly while adding just enough traction to keep me from slipping. 3. These kicks have got a hearty heel (You get to select from 6 different heights.) that helped stabilize my supporting leg during weight shifts. 4. 2 Ways are available in yellow and orange which happen to be Monkeyhouse’s favorite colors for costumes. (Does anyone sense an idea brewing for a new piece?)

Activities to avoid: 1. If you want these beauties to last, skip strolling down sidewalks and traipsing through puddles. Their supple underbelly can not withstand abrasive surfaces especially if they are soaking wet. 2. Steer clear of toe crunching partners as these strappy pumps offer no protection for your tender tootsies. MetaMovemenents‘ classes at Club Caribe encourage students to swap partners and some of the guys in our salsa verde circle made me wish that I had worn steel toes instead.

Warning: 1. The lovely leather insoles invited my feet to slide forward and spill out the front of the shoe. You might want to invest in a pair of adhesive half soles to keep you contained. 2. These patent leather pumps do not stretch much. Break them in at home before you hit the dance hall if you want to avoid blisters.

Overall impression: My Burjus were a blast and boosted my confidence in class. If you are searching for an affordable alternative to a gym membership, latin dance will surely give your waist a workout while toning your thighs. Ballroom is a sport that even the Stiletto Warrior could embrace. Oh, and readers, this is a great way to get to meet some guys who can move. Keep in mind if you do meet a man who wants to glide you down the aisle, Burju’s Bridal Collection has got your back.

Uff, my Burju ballroom adventure got off on the wrong foot. On Wednesday I got gussied up in my strappy yellow heels and headed over to Sagra in Davis Square for Salsa Boston’s drop in, beginning level Salsa class. After a silly parking snafu, I strolled down Highland Street baring my toes to the early autumn breezes only to find that the event had been cancelled. I grumbled to my chilled tootsies and I slunk back to my car.

My Yellow Burju Heels Wistfully Wishing to Go For a Spin

Oh, I muttered and moaned when I returned home but, darling readers, your Fitness Footwear Guru refused to back out of her end of the Burju bargain. After all, Wendy promised you in her interview last week that I would have a review of this spicy new line of wedding and dance shoes. So I was delighted when my husband graciously agreed to go with me to MetaMovements’ lesson at Club Caribe the following night.

We were surprised and relieved by the laid back vibe as we entered the hotel lounge overlooking Memorial Drive. After a fleeting fit of shyness, we gathered on the parquet floor with the other beginners. In my head, I affectionately labeled our gaggle of gringos the salsa verde circle as we rotated through a variety of partners. Given my week, it seemed poetically appropriate when our instructor informed us that the Basic Step in Salsa for ladies involves going back-2-3 then front-6-7. Be sure to check back on Monday for another Full Throttle Walk and Roll Report on how my citrusy sandals (Hmm…that seem to be a theme this month.) fared once my loving tomatillo and I took a turn on the dance floor.

We met up for dimsum a couple of weekends ago for my sister’s birthday. It was a casual affair so I stepped out in my Cole Haan Remy Ballet Flats in red ($98.75 at Zappos.com). They’re my favorite walking shoes (next to my Target ballet flats). 

Whe my sister arrived, she was in her Cole Haan Air Billie Lace-Up Sneakers ($148.95 at Zappos.com). It’s as if we called each other and planned to wear fab and comfortable footwear. You know what they say–great minds think alike.

Then, my dad walked in wearing his Lacoste Cabestan Boat Shoes (pictured; $119.95 at Zappos.com). My mom was also in a pair of cute flats with white flower embellishments (I don’t recall the brand). No surprise here–our parents are quite the fabulous pair. They know how to put outfits together, spend free weekends at malls and designer stores, and know what’s hot and not in fashion. No wonder my sister and I are the way we are. We are our parents’ children.

Alas comfortable sexy is in the building.
I have been away for a New York Minute and boy have I got a hot shoe-story. Living in NY can be the most exciting and painful thing ever, especially when it comes to shoes. The thought of the changing seasons, the different trends, and of course the endless shopping options. However, as I have learned over the last couple of months of cohabiting with New Yorker’s, you better be tough. Try walking 7 blocks just to the subway in a 3 1/2 inch. Yeah, don’t think so.
Now this story is not a somber one, all the contrary. Just in time for the changing of the leaves came along my thigh high lover. Constructed of caramel suede and best of all flat and deliciously comfortable. This hot number was my latest purchase from Zara on their summer clearance. As if the story could not get better, they really are a beauty. Hello Lover!

Thigh-High Lover.