Bargin Basement Tourettes

My first word was “shoes.” I’m not even employing the ever-popular Blog Reality Edit for the sake of this post.

I have two rather amused parents who can verify this episode in my young, mewling life: I pointed to my feet, opened my mouth (as yet untried in the formation of English), shouted “SHUZ!”, and haven’t shut up since.

My love for patent leather mary-janes has matured, insofar as the heels have gotten taller and I no longer wear them with lace-trimmed ankle socks. But I’m as relentlessly enamored of shoes as I was when I still struggled with the concept of putting food into my mouth rather than throwing it directly onto the carpet.

These days, my feet yearn for Manolos, but my budget nods its head firmly toward the Keds.

So I hunt the sales, the warehouses, the vintage shops.

Until I found a pair of green, embroidered slides that cost my personal low for a pair of stunning shoes – $12. They have no markings on them at all. I like to think they were made by shoe elves, expressly for me to find.

Which makes me wriggle with glee every time I pull them out of my closet.

And sound like a tool every time I wear them, because when someone compliments me on my embroidered feet, the first thing out of my mouth is “THEY ONLY COST $12!” – a form of bargain basement Tourettes that can only be cured with the careful application of patent leather Christian Louboutins.

Do you think my health insurance will cover that?


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February 2008
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