An S.O.S.

Last Wednesday after an arduous workout, I returned home and emptied out my gym bag which was supposed to include the following:

  1. The outfit I wore to work.
  2. Some costume jewelry.
  3. Magazines clippings that I pilfered from the gym (don’t judge me).
  4. A bottle of water.
  5. My black-knee high boots.

Suddenly I realize my one boot is missing. Not boots—just boot. SOLDIER DOWN!

I set into panic mode. I retrace my steps; work, bathroom, gym, locker-room, home. I call the gym, and although they are sympathetic to my situation, they inform me that no one has turned in a black boot, Steve Madden Ritte or otherwise.

The next day at work I send an email blast to all staff. It reads:

Sorry to bother you, but a tragedy has occurred. I lost one of my black knee-high boots yesterday evening and it could be in this building. It is of great importance to me. If found, please return it to my desk. No questions asked.”

Needless to say, the only thing I got out of that email was some very odd looks in the hallway.

It is two days later and the little dear hasn’t turned up. I have contemplated putting the lone boot on a milk carton with a caption reading “If you find my mate, please return me to Faith’s closet immediately.”

But instead I wrote this S.O.S. Dramatic? Yes. Necessary? Most definitely.

This is for all the lost shoes out there in the ether (and in particular for my black boot—I miss you, come home soon).


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February 2008
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