eBay Robbery

Shoes have always inspired a bit of envy in even the most non-materialistic of women.

A voluptuous woman in a red dress may turn male heads, but it is her shoes that make the ladies swoon. And swoon I did in the fall of 2003 when I spotted my first love pair of Uggs on a woman who wasn’t me.

I know what people think of the old school Uggs now—uncool in the extreme. But I swear, in 2003, JLo was still sporting them they were so hot. According to US Weekly, they were the celebrity must-have. Even Oprah Winfrey said she could not live without hers’. And they were sold out. Everywhere.

So when I spotted this woman walking through my local mall, blond hair bouncing, her Sevens tucked into a pair of Uggs so unique, I had never seen the model before, I was beside myself with envy. I had to have them. Where did she get them?

“Oh, I can’t remember,” she said, rolling her eyes, the shiny newness of the footwear giving the lie to her casual demeanor.

“They are just so comfortable.” They were light brown with fur up the back and around the ankle. I was salivating.

That night I went online and commenced Operation Get Me Uggs. Effective immediately, I was focused on one goal and one goal only—scoring a reasonably priced pair of Uggs.

Within hours the whole “reasonably priced” part of my goal fell by the wayside. I just wanted Uggs–by any means possible. And it seemed the only way to get a pair was to outbid on eBay.

But outbidding on eBay is always a tricky endeavor. It involves strategy, skill and dedication that I seem to be lacking. I am more of a “buy it now” kind of gal. So, in my fervor to own the boots that had looked so hot on the mall chick, I did something out of character. Or, as Chris Isaak (or my husband) might say, “baby did a bad, bad thing.”

Yes, I spent $450 to own these boots. It was the most I had ever spent on a pair of shoes until that point and the most my husband thinks I would ever spend (little does he know…). And though I still wear them—I am getting my money’s worth, dammit!—they went out of favor within months of my purchase.

But I was a queen for a month or two. When I went to the mall, all the teenyboppers came to me, asking where I’d scored my Uggs. So I did what any self-respecting woman would do. I lied.

I bought these way before they were in, I’d tell them with a yawn. After all, I am only in it for the comfort.


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