All right, I am not going to name names or anything but the following sound bite was snatched out of a conversation with a family member:
Anonymous Blood Relative: Oh, that’s great. A shoe blog. You can write about your niece. She just loves her “shuz” as she calls them.
k: Oh yeah, she will certainly make it in sometime but I have got a few ideas…
ABR: [interrupting] Little Bits would be great to write about. She is so cute.
k: I’ll be writing about all my stories with…
ABR: [interrupting again] This doesn’t have to be about high fashion shoes does it?
k: It doesn’t have to be. Some of them will be on dance shoes or my…
ABR: Because Little Bits has some new, pink, sparkly shoes….
It is official. Little Bits, whom I adore and really am planning to feature, is not even 24 months old yet and is already much more fascinating that I could ever hope to be.
All my life it has been abundantly clear that I am the dullest member of my nuclear family.
You don’t trust me?
My parents started their life together by acquiring 24 snapping turtles, a snake, some kind of bird and a pink alligator.
Yes, a pink alligator.
Sorry to tease you but this was the real thing with teeth.
No, not a pair of pumps.
The short version is that my dad bought it from a bunch of boys who had found it in the sewer. Now do you understand what I am up against?
Don’t even get me started on my brothers. I never stood a chance with them around but I was hoping that a head start of a few decades might give me a leg up on the next generation.
But the thing that really frosts my cookies is that we just bought Little Bits Smart Fit’s pink leopard print ballet flats.
Even with their adorable little arch support cushions, they probably aren’t as thrilling as the aforementioned pair she just acquired. As a woman who was over a half an hour late to her own wedding and, according to the doctors, a couple weeks overdue for her own birth, is it any wonder that I can’t keep up?