Archive for September 9th, 2008

09
Sep
08

Don Johnson’s Downfall

“…gold chains and a pearl white jacket, like Don Johnson on Miami Vice.”

Cast Iron Filter—a band I grew to love in college referenced the infamous Don Johnson in a song about a rather inappropriate love affair between a 30 year old guy and a 15 year old girl (perhaps alluding to Don Johnson’s affair with a young Melanie Griffith). Forget the chains and the jacket! What they failed to note as a “Don Johnson” red flag was his white shoes: boy did I find that one out the hard way!

Yes, it was an 80’s party. Yes, there were several other Don Johnson lookalikes running around; however, only one was wearing white shoes…

Perhaps I’m like a moth heading towards a bug light, but for me it’s a pair of standout shoes that lure me in. Regardless, let’s just say the owner of the Don Johnson shoes lived up to his reputation. Fast forward to several strong beverages, some minor belligerence (ok, there was plenty of that on my side), and my 80’s-clad cohort and I stranded in what seemed like the middle of nowhere at 8:00 AM with not one, but two Don Jonson’s!

Allegedly a metro stop was “just a few blocks down the road.” My friend and I left our dignity behind and departed on an early morning hunt for public transport. We trudged along for several uphill blocks, she barefoot and I in my hot pink Pedro Garcia pumps, but still found no metro. Perhaps, the 1985 Miami Vice episode “Out Where the Buses Don’t Run” should have been a

warning. Even singing Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing,” we soon gave up hope and decided our only option was to turn back and beg for some Miami Vice mercy. Fortunately, only one of the Don Johnson’s was of the white shoe variety; the other Don Johnson managed to give us the number of a local cab company allowing us to “Take it on the Run.”

Through my inadvertent field study and extensive research I’ve come to a conclusion. The gold chains, pearl white suit, and white fedora may make the Don Johnson, but it’s the white shoes that break the Don Johnson.

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