Archive for December 17th, 2009


DIY Shoetube Style Part 2: Can I get a gallon to match my Gucci’s?

When I walked into Home Depot with a single Gucci stiletto in my handbag, I knew I was going to get some odd looks at the paint counter. What I didn’t anticipate, was causing a total scene involving gates, a Hazmat crew, and some rather angry checkout ladies.

As discussed in Part 1 of my DIY series, I decided to paint my front door the same color as one of my fave pairs of stilettos. Granted, it has taken me awhile to get around to actually starting le project, but it’s not like my front door is going anywhere, right? So last Saturday I decided to finally bite the bullet and get to work.

Walking into Home Depot, I figured that surely people have asked the paint guys to match paint colors to much odder objects than a shoe, right? Wrong. The guy at the paint counter looked at me like I was crazy when I nonchalantly sat my stiletto on the counter and asked him to do the “paint match thingy” and give me a gallon of semi-gloss that matched my Gucci. He looked at the shoe, looked at me, and then had the nerve to tell me he didn’t want to touch it! It’s not like I was asking him to handle smelly gym shoes: this was a pristine patent leather Gucci that spenda most of its time being toted between points A and B in a dust bag. I finally talked him into putting it in the “paint match thingy” only to have the machine produce an ugly shade of red. So my new buddy, the paint dude, and I went to plan B: perusing existing paint palettes. I actually managed to find a pretty close match with Jasmine’s Gems from Behr’s Disney collection.

All awkward business finished, I figured I would just do self-checkout and head on my merry way. I scanned my painting accessories and then went to scan the can of paint, only to have “Jasmine’s Gems” gush all over the self-checkout machine and pretty much everything else in sight. Apparently dear, sweet paint dude had not properly fastened the lid on the can of paint. Obviously this

The "Secured Area"

disaster was not my fault (for once), but the clean-up crew sure acted like it was! As if it’s not embarrassing enough to spill paint everywhere, the little old lady on self-checkout patrol got on her walkie-talkie and paged someone to “secure the area” and that they had “a potentially hazardous situation.” At this point, I wanted nothing more than to silently sneak out of the store, but I still needed to get more paint! I went back over to paint dude, who watched the whole scene go down, and had to ask for a new gallon because somehow my lid was not secure and it spilled EVERYWHERE. I swear he smirked as he handed me my new can of paint. All I have to say is he had just better be glad that none of the paint got on the infamous Gucci’s, because my wrath would have been far worse than those checkout ladies.

Needless to say, I’m not going back to that Home Depot for a while…


A Coye Nokes Lullaby

My 16.5-month-old son has been a notoriously bad sleeper from the day we brought him home.

If you have noticed fewer posts from me in the past year, it is largely because every moment not spent feeding or rocking the boy is spent half comatose, watching bad reality TV or sitting on the couch drooling.

Until three weeks ago, I was up each night, at least once with my youngest child.  I love him, but this was a daily living hell.  Until these arrived:

These babies from new shoe designer Coye Nokes arrived on my doorstep, smelling of new leather and sparkling like copper.  Immediately, Alan wanted to hold them.

“Shoes!  Shoes!  Shoes!” he screamed.  And at first, I was thrilled.  Not only had the shoes inspired yet another new word in my boy, they were also keeping him from throwing a fit, which is usually what he does when I deign not to hold him for 3.5 seconds.

He cradled the shoes and scooted about the floor whispering “shhhh” into its shoe-ear.  Odd, I thought, but figured he would eventually let me try them on.

What I did not count on was the way this pretty little flat would change our lives.  After cradling his new friend most of the day, Alan insisted the shoe sleep with him as well.  When we put him down for the night, he asked for his “ishy (blankie) and shooooe!”  And so we complied.  Guess who slept through the night?

In the morning we rushed into his room to make sure he was still breathing and there he was, curled around his copper friend as though it were a stuffed toy and not a cold leather piece of footwear.

Since that night, my boy has slept 8 p.m. to 7 a.m. every night.  Now, I am not completely crediting the shoes.  They happened to arrive the same day we were making some other changes–putting him in his own room, ceasing night nursing.  To me, though, it was all the shoes.

Okay, so yes, they are beautiful and comfortable and can transition from playdate to date night with the hubs with ease, but these shoes are so much more than that.

Anyone with kids, particularly ill-tempered sleepless ones, I urge you to try these before you hire the $200-an-hour sleep consultant.  It will be $400 well spent and you will have a little something to sport on your feet that can help show off your bagless eyes.

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December 2009
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